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No One Ever Ran From Iran

With news of Iran’s recent missile-tests provoking threats from Israel and a warning from the US, the world is hanging to their seats the way a child might cling to their popcorn in an action movie thriller. The international theatre is literally on hold until the 48-hour interlude between Iran, Israel and the US dissolves, and it’s ridiculous. The world already knows Iran is an abominated militaristic theocracy and that their president is a near lunatic in denial of Israel’s (and gays’) right to exist. Especially with the way the New Media makes it a priority of broadcasting Ahmadinejad’s embarrassing rhetoric at every chance they get. But at the end of the day when the reels quit turning, Iran’s threat is the only thing to fall from the sky, landing like an empty bombshell in a barren dessert.

Yet Americans insist Iran is a threat. A threat to whom? Their best missiles are Photoshopped into images in the place of duds! They’re nowhere near going nuclear, and Israel’s boom of military firepower makes Iran’s look like the snap of a toy cap gun. What a joke!

Something that we have to grow to understand is that Iran isn’t trying to pick a fight with the US. Just think, when was the last time a war was fought on US soil? We are the occupiers and the guys with the big guns, not the other way around. But let’s tip the media slant and suppose we were them. As a people of centuries age with a land, religion and culture that is entirely ours, wouldn’t we challenge the right to defend ourselves from strangers that move within our borders and proclaim themselves sovereign? Yes, we would—and have—during the Revolutionary War.

It’s the same with Israel. A few decades ago we scribbled lines onto a map and put a wedge in the region because a book said so; meanwhile, the Persians and Palestinians were forced off their lands. Today, however, Israel remains where it is and we must cope with their presence regardless of whether they belong there or not, fine. But we need to calm down over Iran. These are missile-tests within their borders! Let them prove they are a force to be reckoned with. After all, why not? We’ve been doing it since before the Cold War, showing Russia not to mess with us by nuking Japan back to the Stone Age. First we terrorize; then we send diplomats.

When America cries for diplomacy, they really mean hypocrisy. I’m just relieved to have won the lottery coming into this world. At least, I’m on the side that gets to make the rules.

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