Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

Young Gore sets out for his new home, where the sky is clear, the water is clean, and there are no Republicans.

Young Gore sets out for his new home, where the sky is clear, the water is clean, and there are no Republicans.

The Onion is at it again, peeling back the layers and sharing with all. Portrayed in an apocalyptic world, Gore places his fictitious son in a rocket in hopes that he will be accepted as man’s last clean gasp for survival. In good ol’ comic book fashion, the narrative of a cast away politician is told, and in it, a republican fighting, carbon reducing superhero is born.

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Obama’s EuroTrip Recieves Backlash

It seems the more Europeans love and embrace Barack Obama, the less Americans are willing to do the same. During his recent trip across Europe and the Middle East, Obama made huge strides in showing that he can mingle with world leaders. To his credit, that places significant faith and trust on the international stage. But, US electioneering has made those successes into gaffe. Apparently, the audacity of acting presidential is too much for Americans to handle and it shows:

A surprising poll released Monday confirms Sen. Barack Obama’s worst nightmare: he actually lost ground to Sen. John McCain after a global trip meant to buck up his sagging credentials in foreign and military policy.

The USA Today/Gallup poll has McCain leading Obama by four points, 49 percent to Obama’s 45 percent, among likely voters.

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The Parody of Politics

I think politics is excellent fodder for parody making, and so I laud Jib Jab for their sardonic brilliance. It just shows that the only way to take politics seriously is to recognize how ridiculous it can be. Humans are natural political animals, so the only way to stop us from acting on our preternatural instinct to kill, is by humbling ourselves with sarcasm and humiliation. Thank God this political campaign season has peaked America’s interest, it was about time we woke up in our feces to dig ourselves out. So power to the people, down with the establishment–a throwback to late 1960’s zeal.

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So It’s Time For Some Campaign’n!

JibJabs 2008 Campaignn

JibJab's 2008 Campaign'n

Anyone who remembers JibJab‘s hilarious rendition of the 2004 presidential election between Bush and Kerry will greatly appreciate the political subtleties exploited in this year’s campaign parody. We’re always told to be informed and politically active, maybe we can finally live up to those expectations, only I’m sure this isn’t what they had in mind.

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No One Ever Ran From Iran

With news of Iran’s recent missile-tests provoking threats from Israel and a warning from the US, the world is hanging to their seats the way a child might cling to their popcorn in an action movie thriller. The international theatre is literally on hold until the 48-hour interlude between Iran, Israel and the US dissolves, and it’s ridiculous. The world already knows Iran is an abominated militaristic theocracy and that their president is a near lunatic in denial of Israel’s (and gays’) right to exist. Especially with the way the New Media makes it a priority of broadcasting Ahmadinejad’s embarrassing rhetoric at every chance they get. But at the end of the day when the reels quit turning, Iran’s threat is the only thing to fall from the sky, landing like an empty bombshell in a barren dessert.

Yet Americans insist Iran is a threat. A threat to whom? Their best missiles are Photoshopped into images in the place of duds! They’re nowhere near going nuclear, and Israel’s boom of military firepower makes Iran’s look like the snap of a toy cap gun. What a joke!

Something that we have to grow to understand is that Iran isn’t trying to pick a fight with the US. Just think, when was the last time a war was fought on US soil? We are the occupiers and the guys with the big guns, not the other way around. But let’s tip the media slant and suppose we were them. As a people of centuries age with a land, religion and culture that is entirely ours, wouldn’t we challenge the right to defend ourselves from strangers that move within our borders and proclaim themselves sovereign? Yes, we would—and have—during the Revolutionary War.

It’s the same with Israel. A few decades ago we scribbled lines onto a map and put a wedge in the region because a book said so; meanwhile, the Persians and Palestinians were forced off their lands. Today, however, Israel remains where it is and we must cope with their presence regardless of whether they belong there or not, fine. But we need to calm down over Iran. These are missile-tests within their borders! Let them prove they are a force to be reckoned with. After all, why not? We’ve been doing it since before the Cold War, showing Russia not to mess with us by nuking Japan back to the Stone Age. First we terrorize; then we send diplomats.

When America cries for diplomacy, they really mean hypocrisy. I’m just relieved to have won the lottery coming into this world. At least, I’m on the side that gets to make the rules.

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Did Iran Photoshop Their Missile Image?

Iran Missile Testing

In what could be the most hilarious cover-up attempt in military history, Sepah, the media arm of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard, is suspected of using Photoshop to manipulate a missile-test image that was used over and over again on the front covers of prominent newspapers across the nation!

America, watch out. Iran’s Photoshopped missiles will delete us all!

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BARACK OBAMA’S NEW AD: NEW ENERGY!

In this new ad, Obama makes public his strategy to fight higher oil prices and the US dependance on foreign oil. He calls for raising mileage standards, fast-track technology for alternative fuels and a 1,000 dollars tax cut to help families break the grip on foreign oil. Obama’s campaign states that this ad is in response to negative attacks by John McCain and the Republican party.

Visit Inside 2008 Politics to view his ad. My question is, can America truly break the grip of foreign oil by following any of the candidates’ plans?

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